Tuesday, March 4, 2014

La La La - Lost on Stage

Transitions. Are. Tough. And I'm talking about the choreographic transitions in a dance (and then I'll go into detail about another, lonnnnnggggg transition of my life - related to diet). 

When I am crafting a dance, I tend to focus more energy on certain chunks that I find appealing to work with. I will get these great ideas for what comes next, however moving my dancers to that formation and taking the time to do so, is always a challenge. 

For anyone who isn't into dance and doesn't know what statement I'm trying to make, I'll just say the transitions are the roads between point A and B, point B and C - and determining what those transitions are going to look like in a visual fashion are a headache for myself. There is the basic walk to your next spot - or run - skip - hop - move real low as if to completely forget there is even a transition at this moment... haha I bet other choreographers know all too well what I mean by that last one.

But what I have come to realize the more I have had opportunities to choreograph, is that the transitions are equally as important as the rest of the content of the dance. I can't just pretend there is no milieu movement between my half-circle combo and bust it out dance section. Whether or not I give care or attention to it, that transition exists - people see it, I "made" it, dancers do it. 

In my own personal journey towards health, I have been stuck in the same transitional sequence for well over a year now. I've hated this transition, wished it didn't exist and I could just move on, ending it already. I disrespected the possibility of the transition and the chance to learn as much as I possibly could, and instead only allowed myself to take in a small amount of information during this time, instead of books and books worth of knowledge. 

On May 22nd, 2012 I made a huge leap. I was in a short transition phase before that as I briefly pondered changing my diet to a plant-based, animal free diet - vegan. I was pescatarian/vegetarian for several months before that. I didn't ever think I would decide to jump to veganism, but my transition before that was only about 3 weeks long - during this time I questioned the lifestyle with underlying intentions, made judgements towards those already living the lifestyle, and did a little bit of research.

While reading the book Skinny Bitch down in North Carolina, near half way through the book, I said "Okay I'm going vegan." Had my last dairy milk ice cream cone that day and began one of my favorite chapters in life - the one where I take on this new lifestyle I knew I was designed for. 

Shortly after becoming vegan - maybe 5 months in, I found myself extremely interested in the living foods movement. To become a raw vegan was so appealing to me, but still to this day I haven't made the complete jump and commitment to this new lifestyle. I've done days raw vegan, added many raw foods to my diet, pretended to be fullyraw at times, etc., all because I so badly wanted to be finished with the transition. Truth is, I know the next chapter for me is the fullyraw lifestyle, but ignoring the transition has only pushed back this next phase even further - the resistance to the transition put me in a state of ignorance, and if it looked like a dance I was crafting, one dancer would be running all around the stage confused, not sure where to head next or what her next movement was - stuck in the dreadful transition, not knowing that she needs to embrace this transition to get to the next movement! 

Since I don't have many raw vegan friends, I imagine a lot of people would ask me "Why?" Why do I want to have the living foods diet? What I want to share is that those weeks that I was fully raw, and that one time I lasted 30 days, wow I never felt so good, clear-minded, superhuman. 

So here is what is happening. The last time I made the jump into the next chapter, I was reading a life-changing book. The 80/10/10 Diet by Dr. Douglas N. Graham is a book I have wanted to read for over a year now, since the beginning of my interest, and somehow I am just now getting to it. As I read this, I realize it is exactly what I need to get out of this transition and into the next chapter. So March 3rd 2014 was the day I made the decision to go raw, and had my last truly unhealthy Mexican meal at El Dorados. When I went vegan, I didn't allow myself any non-vegan meals because I didn't want to go backwards. I'm doing the same as I jump into fully raw, with the exception of my bridal shower day this Friday (which I expected) and my wedding dinner in May (but I could change my mind then and just vow for a big bowl of fruit =D). These non-raw meals have been in my foresight for so long, and I am not going to let them hold me back from otherwise fully committing to this next chapter. I am going to go as far to say it is different than a vegan eating a non-vegan meal, because regardless I'll always be vegan. 

And here I am - looking at the transition phase that lasted about 19 months - and realizing I need to be thankful for this time. This transition has only proved to me what I truly want. I'm so excited for it, too! 

Abundance, life, color, well-being, and adventure are what comes with this lifestyle choice, and I'm ready to start busting a move. I'll appreciate the incredibly long transition I had, and be happy that I've finally come to start the next important chunk in my dance called life. 

Deliberately creating. Eating from the tree of life - which to my guess, is a piece of fruit. =D With gratitude. 

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